Bryan and Kara's Wedding - What an Adventure

So we decided that it would be best if we stayed overnight at my sisters in Toronto. That way we could leave there at around 9:30am and be in Niagara Falls to go to IHOP, because Amy loves IHOP. Unfortunately I forgot my dress pants so we had to go buy some when we got to Niagara, luckily I purchased a new dress shirt on Orfus Rd. the night before. So we get to Niagara Falls at about 11:00am, so we head to Wal-Mart to grab some dress pants, pick up the things we need there and get out around 11:45am. So were headed to IHOP, and get stuck at a train crossing, and I think to myself I better check the directions to the Wedding Chapel, and make sure we have a good plan. That's it that's the moment I wish never happened, the moment I thought. Yeah you laugh now, you haven't heard anything yet.
The GPS tells me that to get to Niagara on the Lake, I have to get back on the highway and go about an hour the other way. I freak, cause now its like noon, the weddings at 1:30pm we haven't eaten, and I still have to change. I know that its only like 10 minutes from Niagara Falls, but its a GPS Unit so it can't be wrong right. well that's a big yeah right, cause now Ames and I are jetting back down the QEW, and up another highway, she's upset and I feel horrible because she was really looking forward to IHOP. Were both saying this isn't right, but I of course keep telling myself its a GPS. Can't be wrong. So were flying down the road and Amy looks up and as she reads the sign I pass the next exit, sign says "Last exit before the U.S.A. border. Ummm pardon, yeah so now we come to the border and I really start to trip, because now its about 12:30pm, and neither one of us has our passport, of course.
We pull up to the booth and I explain to the guy what has transpired and that I didn't mean to come to the border, and all I really want to do is pull a U-Turn. He looks at my license and says Halloween baby, your really screwed and laughs. Shows me how were to pull a U-Turn and says good luck, really nice guy.
So there's 5 open Canadian border guards open, so I choose the shortest line. Big mistake, big big mistake, I pull up and the car in front of us takes about 5 more minutes, and now its our turn. I again explain what has happened and let the lady know where we are trying to go for a wedding, and that we have less than an hour to get there and all. She then says, and I quote, "Do you know anything about geography? Because this here is lake Erie, and you need to be on Lake Ontario!" Wow this womans a bitch, but I keep my calm and laugh with her. She then asks if the American Boarder Officer gave us any paperwork, how much currency we have, if that's a gift in the back seat for the wedding, if we have any weapons to declare, and if we purchased anything in the U.S., "WTF", lady I just told you we pulled a freaking U-Turn because we made a mistake. I answer all her questions really politely, hand her a receipt for some things in the back seat, that says we purchased them less than an hour ago in Niagara Falls. She tells us that Niagara-On-The-Lake is only 45 minutes away, and oh it's only 12:35pm you'll make it, but please pull into stall #3 an officer will be out to check your car in a few minutes.
So were sitting there waiting, I'm starting to get ancy, and out comes the officer, I explain to her what's gone on, and give her the same receipts. She says ok so pop your trunk, it hits me, now keep in mind we just crossed the border not once but twice. "Maam before you look in there I have to tell you that I borrowed my neighbors truck yesterday to take some stuff to the dump, and there were some things in the truck so I took them out. I forgot to put them back in when I returned the truck so I threw them in my trunk until I return them, maam there's an Axe in my trunk." Yeah we just took a weapon accross the border not once but twice. She chuckles a little, takes the receipt for the stuff in the back seat, looks in my trunk, opens some bags, insects the AXE, and looks at a receipt for the clothes Amy bought in Toronto the night before. She comes back gives me the receipt and says have a nice day. So were now on our way back to Niagara Falls, after we pay $3.25 to get back into Canada, and I call Ryan at work to get some proper directions. He's explaining to me how to get to Niagara-On-The-Lake, and my GPS goes "Ding-Ding" and re calculates the right directions into it. So I let Ryan go and were now headed down the right path, pull of onto Mountain Rd. And start following that and BAM, road closed, so we now have to pull a U-turn and head down their detour. We run into the construction line of about 10 cars, and I looked at Amy.
"Honey pull my sleeve," off comes my shirt, pants, push the break, let it go, put it in park, put one sock on, put it in gear, drive ahead, put it in park, on with the other sock, put it in gear and drive ahead, put it in park, on with the pants up to the knees, put it in gear and pull ahead some more, break, pull up the pants, put on the shirt, pull ahead, break, button up the shirt and tuck it in, pull ahead, put on my tie and tie it, pull ahead to the sign lady, and I'm dressed. Wow that was the fastest and most intense 3 minute dressing while driving drill I've ever done.
So now were on our way again, and racing the clock, we have 17 minutes to get there but the GPS says we need 25, speed up a little, and make up some time. We pull into the town, and low and behold, I look down the side street and there's a Limo. We pull up the nest street and in front of the Limo, allow a car to get between us, and they slow the Limo down. We pull up to the church, and there's two churches. Amy grabs my dress shoes out of the trunk, a throw them on and start darting down the sidewalk. All the while Amy has been left behind in heels, so I go back and walk with her, and yeah the Limo pulls up. We literally raced the bride to her wedding. But we made it, and it was all worth it, they had a beautiful small wedding. A single guitarist playing in the background, and rose pedals on the floor along the pews. Oh and I matched the bridesmaids dresses perfectly, not even a different shade. The dinner was fantastic, and the wine tour was brilliant. Ames and I learned how to actually taste wine and enjoy it. The guitarist, was then joined by a chelloist, and a drummer and they played the crowd of 30 or so, which made for a very intimate, and relaxing wedding reception. So all in all after the most stressful wedding approach, we got there on time, enjoyed in partaking in the festivities, my wife looked beautiful, and we had an amazing time. Thank you and Congratulations to Mr. And Mrs. York.